It's Happening

Day after Thanksgiving 2007
Christmas Eve 2007
Christmas Day 2007 ( Pouting my chin up to hide it)

January 2008

I have waited SO long to actually feel good about buying clothes, I dont yet... since now I am in between sizes.

I have waited for somone to say Oh wow, and pat me on the back and actually notice the hard work I have been putting forth since I started this change of lifestyle, (change of diet.) I have went for months getting excited as I would see the Dr. for Blood pressure checks, and just last week a glucose test. My sugar and BP had been high off and on but The Dr. asured me that getting the weight off would bring me back. Well I am no longer pre~diabetic, and while my BP spikes at times, the Dr. as have I have noticed now it is usually stress induced. I am not where I need to be or where I want to be, but I do have more energy, and dont get worn out as easily chasing after the boys. I am liking who I see in the mirror again though and that is IMPORTANT! For sixteen years this has been a challenge, and I am FINALLY motivated to do something about it! Espescially since someone yesterday really didnt recognize me, and I told here who I was... she just didnt put it all together UNTIL I showed her my Drivers Licence picture. She thought I looked so different. I am proud the work is showing, but will NEVER forget what I looked like, or HOW it feels to be starred at like you are a pig, when at resturants I always felt like someone was starring like are you going to eat ALL of that! It was so degrading, humiliating...but humbling too. For now I see what others struggle with and will never put an overweight person down. It hurts.... and they too can acheive success, it is hard and alot of work but it isw SO SO worth it! It matters to me that I am healthy and able to let go of it all and be there for my kids and enjoy them... They matter to me, and the weight has made it hard to have fun with them. I am thankful to see that, and to be heading down the right path!

April 24th 2008 ( Previous Pictures were Mid April at the park with the boy's. I havent been able to fit on one in years....

When your low..

I met a new friend when my son started kindergarten this year. She had something I wanted, and she had something "Exciting" she wanted to share as well. Brandy, if you read this, I really don't know if what I was seeking was TRULY what you have given me. I, yes me... approached you. I sought you out, not knowing why "Except for PERFUME"... but someone had a plan much MUCH bigger than I could have ever imagined. My life Is not a open book, I am intimidated very easily and wish to make people happy, to have friends and be liked. I am afraid of rejection, being disliked, and often either OVER compensate things so people like me, or I am quiet and cower in a corner. I don't always know how to act. I am myself with my children, and my husband, I am comfortable with them, as well as my best friends ( more like family) Mr. and Mrs. Heinzmann. I have struggled with somethings for a VERY long time. I have made excuses for things that have went "wrong in my life". I just haven't been doing what I was supposed to. I am constantly reminded of true love and faith through The Heinzmanns, but for some reason something just clicked today.
Brandy... You reminded me to call out to God, and lean on him, to trust him. with tear soaked eyes, and still a ill stomach.. I am at peace, I am tired, my face hurts, my head hurts, my eyes hurt, all from crying and releasing everything to Him.
I honestly can not say where our adventure Brandy will take us, or that I will succeed, And right now I DON'T care, because you gave me more then an opportunity... I hope that Does NOT offend you that I speak it this way... Like I don't care if I do well in our adventure, ( my adventure) ...You reminded me that I have Jesus, and he is there and cares for me, and that is bigger then ANYTHING, EVEN a business transaction. That is bigger then and more of an adventure then what you offered me... I just didn't know it at the time. Neither did you~ All of this from a bottle of perfume! Thanks so much Brandy, you have NO idea what you have done..... Here is a link that Brandy sent to me, I encourage you to view it. Watch it carefully, it is A very powerful message! When you are low, and down, lonely, scared, anxious, He, Jesus is all you need!
Click here to be Moved, I sure was~