Long awaited update

I can hardly believe that I have went this long with friends and family afar wondering how I am.... I am SO Sorry!

I had my Bi Lat Mastectomy January 29th, went very well, and started reconstruction the same day.
It made me feel better to know that I was waking to a Lil something than nothing. Just the same it was heart wrenching.
I cant describe the loss a woman feels.....
How the way you don't want anyone to see you look so bad....

My Birthday was Feb 1st and while I don't remember most of it from sleeping and pain meds I am sure that from the pictures I enjoyed the cake!

I felt constantly tired and could seem to stay awake around the 8th or so of February
I felt so weak and exhausted.... My boys and husband had been sick so everyone "assumed" I was getting ill too. Sick Yes, Just not what we hoped for!

I was admitted back into to hospital for emergency surgery, the right breast implant and all the beginning reconstruction had to be removed, I developed a serious infection, as well as a delirious state of mind due to a fever of almost 106....
I was heavily medicated with STRONG antibiotics, spent a week in bed in the hospital and returned home... I have been on the mend since. I am just so ready for life to return to normal... C..... Cancer SUCKS!

Anger? Pity?

Okay this may be a tough post. When my husband was home on leave from Afghanistan he got very ill from over eating. ( He was so thrilled at the home cooked foods and things he missed while away that he gorged!) Anyway at 5:30am on a cold February morning 2 years ago I went into town and stopped at a pharmacy for some anti-nausea medicine. The pharmacist advised me that it would be about 10-15 minutes as their computers were slow due to a ice and snow that we were getting. I decided to drive to the grocery store and get some Sprite, crackers, soup and of coarse a few other items since I was already at the store. Anyway I went back to my car and the doors had froze shut and the entire car was COVERED in ice. I unlocked ( YES THEY WERE LOCKED) the doors and tried to get inside... The only door I could open was the front passenger door. I was putting the items in the car over the seat and all at once I have a gun shoved in my side and a "person" telling me to SHHH! I was completely frozen, I lost all fine motor skills I couldn't scream or speak. I was being mugged! I shudder at the thought. I felt my breath leave my body. My purse was stolen. My complete identity. I was lost and felt helpless. I was terrified to be out after dark and I still wont park in that parking space at the store. Alot of things regarding this really effected me.

Today it all came flooding back. I went to Walmart to get a few items. Shopped and even ate at McDonald's with the boys. Anyway, I came back to van buckled the boys in car seats and proceeded to put the things in the van that were purchased. Opened front van door and noticed papers were everywhere. MIND YOU IT IS VERY VERY WINDY TODAY! I thought very little of it at first. Until I had to move EVERY item out of the way. I have a longaberger basket between the driver and passenger seat that holds DVDs and such. It was dumped on the floor of the passenger side. I immediately realized that someone had been in my van and could still be. I got the boys out and said oops we forgot something. ( I said that in case someone was inside they would not hurt the boys or I and hopefully they would get out and leave.) I went inside and called the police. The police said there was nothing they could do, I didn't see anyone. Took report and left. I got home and started organizing my van again. Nothing was missing besides the change I had in the "dish". I however had my bible in the van.... I don't go to church every week but my bible is something I value. It was ripped up and shredded. That angers me more then anything... I wish I had a DVD or something stolen... Even if they took my bible that is better then destroying it!
I AM at a loss for words! I just don't understand. Again I feel as I did having a gun shoved into my side so hard that I actually was bruised... I just don't get it! I don't know if I should be mad or pity the person that did this!